Sometimes we don’t know how it’s broken so we don’t know what to fix. All we know is that something is not right.
Sometimes it seems that whatever is not right isn’t in our power to fix.
That’s not always true though. Sometimes the fix is so radical that we are reluctant to take the steps required to fix it.
My first marriage was broken from a very early stage.
I knew what I wanted from life and my marriage and I loved my wife but we didn’t communicate well.
It seemed that whatever I said or did was wrong but I couldn’t find out what I needed to do or say that was right.
The standard Q&A went like this.
Me. What’s wrong?
Me. So why aren’t you talking to me?
Me. Leave the room, go read a book or something.
It was very hard but I was committed to being a good husband so I worked at it for nearly 20 years. Finally my wife asked me to move out.
I was released. I checked with her a few weeks later and it was confirmed that this was going to be a permanent situation so I started planning my new life.
I’m now happily married to another wonderful woman who talks to and with me about pretty much everything. Life is so much better now that I cannot believe I spent 20 years with the wrong person.
So why tell you this?
I knew fairly early that my first marriage was wrong. I tried many different ways to fix it but was unable to. In a marriage it takes two people wanting to fix things for the fix to work. Ultimately the fix was to separate but I couldn’t do that myself.
It wasn’t all bad. I still see my first wife and we talk together amicably, shame we couldn’t do that while we were married.
We have a wonderful daughter, who has trouble with her Mum, and we are very close. So things have settled down and peace reigns.
In this instance, the fix was something that I couldn’t implement myself and that may be the same for you.
You may be able to engineer the fix to happen though even if you can’t do it yourself.
If the thing you need to fix is a lack of money then the fix is really pretty simple.
If you want some more background first go here.